The Techno Classica in Essen, Germany, has been one of the high masses of classic car events for years. CineCars is in the market for a Porsche 911, let’s go!

Go to the Techno Classica, they said, if you won’t find it there, they said. So we travel to Essen, effortlessly find a vacant parking spot in the concrete parking garage beneath the ‘messe’ and commence on our quest. It is vast, the Techno Classica, hall after hall filled to the brim with classics, overflowing at times. We go to battle, sometimes systematic, mostly completely ad random. Along large and smaller stands. We wiggle between cars that are parked door to door to maximize the profit per square feet, sigh with relief when we feel carpet under our feet and can relax for a minute without fearing to scratch one of the exposed beauties with the zip of our waistcoat. They were right you know, if we can’t find it here, it doesn’t exist.

 

On a turntable a shiny Mercedes 220 is begging for our attention. A ‘strich acht’ as the Germans say. Nice, but not what we came here for. A topless DKW is diverting attention from a tiny Mini. Elsewhere we see another example of this British gem, its poo brown color can only date back to the seventies. On we go. A Citroën DS on stalks, as if the hydropneumatic system is stuck in the highest position, a 2002 marks the transfer of BMW from gentlemen’s ride to the wet dream of every youngster in the country. A touch of ‘oberklasse’, a convertible Opel Kapitän, it just doesn’t ring my bell. Essen, that’s where you should be, you’ll find one of your liking, for sure. Hmm.

The racing colors of a NSU TT are quite imposing somehow, maybe even more than those of a Skoda 130. Ford is trying ever so hard to impose several generations of its Escort as the Lord and Master of gravel. I’m in doubt. The prototype of the Volvo P1800 ES isn’t for sale, I couldn’t care less, a Toyota 2000 GT does a sizable attempt to seduce us, but no. We end up amongst the ‘kleinschnittger’, Messerschmitt, Heinkel, Trojan, Goliath and that single foreign oddity, the Peel. A BMW 700 carefully tries to mime the everyting-in-the-back principle we are looking for. We continue our search. An R16 seduces with a wedding bouquet on the bonnet, a Citroën GSA hides behind her elder sister, the SM. We look through a Glas. No spelling mistakes there.

 

Am I leading you on? Possibly. The Techno Classica is not an event for bread and butter cars, not a meeting of affordable classics. Here in Essen you’ll find the top of the bill. Here the poshest traders from all over northern Europe are gathered. You’ll trip over Maserati’s, Lamborghini’s, Ferrari’s and the likes. People here know that Alfa Romeo goes back further than the enticing Giulietta Sprint, won’t leave you begging if you warm up to a 2500 6C. Italy is well represented here in the Ruhr area. Small and large design houses, Bertone, Pininfarina, Ghia, often their badge is more important than the make of the car. Beautiful shapes, bold lines, futuristic, elegant and as always, stunningly beautiful. This is the top of automotive beauty, cars you won’t find just anywhere, often built in very small numbers, here they are present, what’s more, when you see one, you usually see another one. Don’t worry, if you are really trying, if you’re able to resist all of these lascivious forms and seductive poses, you might just nail it here in Essen, you might find the Porsche 911 of your dreams.
Marc GF Zaan